Monday, October 3, 2011

Home from China FAQ and a plea for help

I have had zero time for blogging since we've been home. Once we got back, we dealt with health issues for all three kids and I sprained my ankle. I still don't have time to blog, but we are desperate to get this information out. Thank you to all who have been praying for us.

How is your family doing?
We are equally struggling and doing well. We love having three kids and the transition to that has been very smooth. However, each individual child has been struggling with the changes, and that has been exhausting for us. We've been overwhelmed at the immensity of our kids' personal challenges.

How is Brendan adapting?
We are past the honeymoon period. He and Aidan get along great. He doesn't like Iona much yet. Brendan has been attached to Daddy from day 1, and that has not changed. When Pete went back to work, Brendan would not look at me at all by the afternoon. That has gotten better, but even tonight Brendan got very upset at me wanting to put him to bed...he definitely wanted Daddy. We have the biggest power struggles with him at meal times. He is learning that we love him but we are also in charge. I am learning patience.

Has he learned any English words?
Brendan understands a heck of a lot more than he can speak. We've been home just over six weeks, and we've seen more confidence in him in the words he says. He is speaking a little louder, where before he would barely even whisper to us when speaking English. He can say hi, more, please, please may I be excused (with help), Aidan, Iona, Daddy, Momma, apple, cars, book, the ABC song, amen,

Is Aidan feeling better?
For those who didn't hear, Aidan was having chronic diarrhea that started about 2 weeks before we left. It was not bad while we were gone, but then returned just as we came home. We could not keep up with it and he was losing weight. The doctor ran a bunch of tests, and we discovered that he had too much yeast in his gut. He is now dairy-free, sugar-free, and white flour-free. He is taking a strong probiotic each day, and now he can tolerate some of the above foods in small amounts. We will be doing this for the next few months and then see what he can take.

How is Aidan doing with his new brother?
Aidan has adapted really well with all the changes. He shares a room with Brendan and has been willing to share all but one set of his toys (including the ninja turtles!). He loves having Brendan in the bunk beds. He has been a great leader, helping Brendan with some of the day-to-day routine. And he does it happily. We have seen an increase in anger in him, and a few more tears than usual. Just before we traveled we had to stop his occupational therapy for his sensory processing disorder (he is sensory-avoidant) due to insurance changes. We've realized that his anger comes when he is in "fight" mode, and we need to work on helping him self-regulate. We need to find a new therapist (probably out of town) who is covered by our insurance, does specific sensory therapy, and will allow me in the room so I can learn. Until then, we're trying some things with him around the house.

How is Iona doing?
This could be a whole post in itself. Iona had a difficult time with us leaving her to get Brendan, and we didn't realize just how much for a little while after we had been home. We are working to rebuild trust and felt safety with her and disarm her fear. She has been over-the-top defiant, screaming and laughing at inappropriate times. She does seem to enjoy Brendan, and sometimes they play together so beautifully. We've learned to decode Brendan's squeals to know whether he's happy or not, and usually she is involved. We've had to change most of our parenting strategies, and it's been a hard but good exercise to unlearn what isn't working or helpful. I just went to a conference with speaker Karen Purvis, author of The Connected Child. I'm not going to rehash the conference, because I think Karen, Jennifer, and Angela each summed it up in amazing ways, and I just don't have time. It was SO worth it for me to go, and we bought some videos to help us learn and process the material and parenting method. I had already read most of the book before the conference and had started some of the technique the week before, and we were seeing some progress. Then I went away and got some awesome information and encouragement and rest. This last week has been incredibly difficult, and we started school on top of it. We've wondered jokingly at various times if Iona has SPD but is a sensory-seeker, and at the conference I became even more convinced. When we find an OT for Aidan we plan to get her tested as well.

How are you two doing?
We are having fun with our newer, larger family. Nothing major has caught us off-guard. However, we are exhausted at the end of each day and don't know how we are going to get done what we need to in the evenings and wake up and start all over again. Only with Jesus. We are thankful for Purvis' book and the new strategies we are learning. We are also on a waiting list with our home study agency to receive play therapy in our home for our kids for free...we should be able to start in the next couple of months. We are excited to get some new parenting tools from that.

How can we help?
We are thankful to all who have asked this. I have not really known how to respond, because, due to attachment-building, we can't really leave the kids with a sitter and go out. Here are some other ideas:
  • Come over and hang out with one of us here with the kids. Bring your kids if you want (as long as they are healthy!). The other one will get out for some respite time. We will not ask you to parent our kids, but we'd love it if you could hang out with the others when we have to hunt one down. If you educate at home, maybe we could work out some combined school time.
  • Help us clean our house. This is very difficult when we are cooking, teaching, and dealing with orphanage dust.
  • Pete will be on a business trip for 4 days in Oct. I could use support especially on those days!
  • Invite us out to a park. We would rather not go to other people's homes just yet, but a park would be delightful, especially with the weather so nice.
  • If you have another idea, please offer it up!
We would call YOU personally, and we really want to hear how YOU are doing, but life is a bit exhausting at the moment and the mental energy to do that has disappeared.

Please call me (home phone preferred, but you can try my cell) or email me. I am barely on Facebook right now, and since they've made all their changes I don't get email notifications of new messages.

Lifesong Zambia









Brush to Berries from Lifesong for Orphans on Vimeo.



"Simply giving this person money is treating the symptoms rather than the underlying disease and will enable him to continue with his lack of self-discipline... a better solution would be to develop a relationship that says, we are here to walk with you and to help you use your gifts and abilities to avoid being in this situation in the future'" (An excerpt from the book, When Helping Hurts)









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By harvesting fruit, we are able to serve more orphans by providing the gift of a job at Lifesong's gardens and self worth to an orphan's caregiver. We are also able to provide future employment for our kids as they transition into adult living, develop a system to raise funds to help cover operational costs, and develop expertise that can be replicated in multiple countries where Lifesong serves. Most of all, we are seeking to glorify Jesus as we teach others how He walked.













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***Giveaway starts immediately and ends at midnight on Monday, October 3rd.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday

Tuesday in China we had our embassy appointment. Embassy in China is so much different than embassy in Ethiopia. Totally different building setup, and our guide could not go in with us in China. It went pretty easily. After we got back, we did a group picture on the famous staircase. We met the group for dinner that night at the Chinese restaurant in the hotel.

Wednesday we went to Shamain Island with another family from our group to do a little more shopping. We had lunch at the infamous Lucy's. Now we can say we've been to Lucy's restaurant in Ethiopia and China. After we ate we looked up and saw mousetraps in the ceiling. Oops. We did get to the pool one more time in the afternoon, and then we just grabbed dinner at the little convenience store and Starbucks. We also got our packing done.

Thursday morning (this morning) we took a private car from our hotel in Guangzhou to Hong Kong. We were worried about carsickness, but we should have worried about the crazy driving!! I just kept praying that God's covering would be over our car. We had a wonderful driver who got us door to door in just under 3 hours, but it was a wild ride! You cannot pay me enough to drive in China. NO WAY. Even the driver said Chinese driving was crazy. Hong Kong driving was much more civilized. We did get to see some nice scenery on the way, and Brendan did very well in the car. No one threw up. We were handed forms to fill out to leave China and to enter Hong Kong right as we left the first hotel, and I ended up having to hand it over to Pete partway through filling them out because I was starting to feel sick.

We got to our Hong Kong hotel at about lunchtime, got checked in, and ate in the hotel. Then we all took naps, since Pete and I didn't sleep well last night. Did I mention I am thrilled Brendan takes a 2-hour nap each day? After naps, we inquired about taking the hotel shuttle to downtown so we could take photos, but by that time it would have put us back to our room pretty late, and it was more expensive than we thought. We went to the hotel playground and then walked around the airport a little, locating where we will need to go in the morning and getting some cheaper food to eat. We hope to get to bed early tonight because we need to leave our room, ready to go, with luggage, by 6 am. By the time you all are going to bed Thurs night, we will be taking off for home!!

We are so ready to be done with hotels, airplanes, and eating out. Aidan and Iona, we can't wait to give you big hugs!! We will call you from Detroit on Friday afternoon!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Sunday, Monday

On Sunday I skipped out on the folk art museum trip with the group because I had been up most of the night with an upset stomach. I started on the Cipro I brought with, and I'm feeling a lot better now. I just mainly laid around a lot Sunday during the day. We did get to have pizza for dinner with a family from our travel group, which was nice.

Today we went shopping near the embassy and got a lot of souvenirs. We also had Brendan's tb test read...no tb! It was really hot out...in the 90s. I hear there's been cooler weather back home, and we are looking forward to it!! Brendan had his first frappicino and Subway sandwich and seemed to like both. He's napping now. Later on we plan to go to a steak house in the hotel for dinner, since today is our anniversary. We hope to take Brendan to the pool later when it cools down a little. If not tonight, then tomorrow. :)

Brendan is such a happy little boy. He's become quite the chatterbox with us in the room. We've enjoyed watching him play with play doh and bubbles for the first time. He has a few English words: hello, Iona, Brendan, yellow (we only heard this once). We are itching to get home and reunite our family...we think he and Aidan will get along very well.

Tomorrow is our embassy interview, and then we'll get his visa on Wednesday afternoon. Thursday morning we'll take a van to Hong Kong for our flight out Friday morning. We'll be home Friday evening!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Sorry I haven't written in a few days. It's been pretty low key, and we've been traveling.

Thursday in Zhengzhou, we basically stayed around the hotel and rested and packed. We did go next door to a bookstore and found a few books for the kids in Mandarin. We also got the rest of our paperwork in hand from our guide. We had a good time laughing with Teresa about cultural confusion and funny language translations.

Friday morning we left for the airport for our flight to Guangzhou. The flight was almost 2 hours long and pretty uneventful. Brendan was excited to go on the plane, but once he was on, he was a bit unsure. We noticed him crying at one point on the trip, towards the end. We made it in one piece and got our luggage pretty quickly. And we found our guide, Amy, right away.

Guangzhou reminds us a lot of Hawaii. It's very beautiful and very hot. It's a bit easier to breathe here, too. It felt so go to be in the hands of a guide who speaks almost perfect English and who really understood us. (Amy is Lineker's wife.) Our hotel is very swanky. Amazing. It's a nice change from the previous part of our trip. And Brendan loves it because our window looks out into the pool. :)

Friday evening we met up with one family from our travel group and went to dinner. Brendan and I went to bed pretty fast after that. Poor kid had basically no nap, and I was exhausted too.

This morning we had breakfast at the hotel...SO MUCH better than all the other hotel breakfasts we had. We will be eating a lot better here. :) We then had the kids' photos taken and the medical exam completed. We found out Brendan has a hernia, so we'll get that checked out when we get home. He passed the exam, even the eye test, which we were really thankful for. Then we did some grocery shopping and bought Brendan a pair of shoes...he loves them because they light up. :) This afternoon we have our paperwork party and we'll drop off our laundry, and then we're doing a group dinner at the Japanese restaurant at the hotel. I hear they have unbelieveably good steaks.

Tomorrow we are visiting a local folk art museum and just relaxing. We can't take Brendan to the pool until Monday, after his tb test is read. He's so excited to go to the pool. Our hotel has a little playground, and there are two more within walking distance from the hotel.

Aidan and Iona, we miss you so much! We are coming home in about a week now! Sending you lots of love and hugs and kisses.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Wednesday in Zhengzhou

On Wednesday morning we went with Teresa to the hospital around the corner so Brendan could see a doctor. We had to go in and request an appointment and then wait until our number was called. Someone in the hospital lobby gave her a doctor recommendation, so she requested an appointment with that doctor. The doc only sees about 27 patients on Wednesday mornings, and we were #25. We were thankful for God’s intervention there.

We decided to walk to a nearby mall to get some sandals for Pete while we waited for our appointment. We were able to see the mall ceremony for the opening of the building. The ladies inside marched like soldiers and spoke in unison when we went in. It was definitely a different experience! We were able to find some sandals on clearance, thankfully, so we got those and then went back over to the hospital to wait.

I am SO thankful for the medical care we have in the US. Wow. We were at a University hospital. It was dirty and loud. We went over to the pediatric outpatient area and sat in this hallway with all the other waiting families. We sat outside our doctor’s exam room. By the time we got there, they were only a couple of numbers away from our number, so we just stayed there to wait.

When it was our turn, Teresa, Brendan, and I went into the exam room. The doctor sat at a table with about 4 students who were watching and helping. There were a few other families in the room at the same time, and we waited on a bench in the room until it was our turn to come to the table. Once we were called up, the doctor examined him and talked with Teresa. She translated here and there and I gave my input too. The doctor was very kind. It turns out we fed Brendan too much food and too much variety…he is used to eating the same small meals every day and this was just a jolt to his system. We got prescriptions for meds for his fever and tummy. The doc was delighted that we were adopting him and was just so patient and kind with us.

We left the exam room and went over to pay the bill and then to the pharmacy area to have the prescriptions filled. It was very quick. The total bill was less than $25 I think (meds and exam). We walked back to the hotel and Teresa explained how to administer the meds.

Since then, Brendan seems to be feeling a lot better. He is full of smiles and laughter when we are alone. He is distrustful of crowds, and I don’t blame him. (Note to those coming to see us at the airport…you will probably not see him smile that night. Just give him time.) His fever has not returned, and we’ve severely limited his food amounts. He wasn’t too happy with us when we said no to some foods at dinner, but at the same time I think we built a huge amount of trust with him by getting him medical care when he needed it. Naptime today was the first time he did not cry himself to sleep. And his tears were silent ones before…the child does not make a lot of noise. He is very soft spoken. You need to lean in to listen to his words. Tonight we heard him say “hello” for the first time!

Brendan is painfully shy, as I’ve said before. He did not use a lot of words at the orphanage, so I’m curious at how his English will develop. It will definitely take some time. It will be very interesting to see, in about 4 months or so, if he is still a painfully shy little boy.

We took him to a park this afternoon, about a 10-minute walk through the busy streets of Zhengzhou. We could see it from our hotel room, and finally today we decided to venture out and get to it. When we first approached the park, Brendan just stood there and looked around. It made us wonder if he had ever been to a park before. We showed him how to do a couple of things, and pretty soon he was laughing and running around. It definitely was not as nice of a park as we have in the states, but it was pretty fun. It was right next to this track we see people running in throughout the day, doing tai chi, playing soccer, etc.

Tomorrow should be pretty low key. We will be getting the rest of our paperwork in hand. (Teresa will go get it and bring it to us.) We’ll be packing our bags in the evening, because on Friday we need to be at the airport by 10 am or so to fly to Guangzhou.

Tuesday in Zhengzhou

Tuesday morning we had breakfast at the hotel and then met Teresa for our appointment at Civil Affairs to finalize our paperwork. It was much less chaotic there that day, though we could tell Brendan was not happy to be back there. We did get to see the family adopting Brendan’s friend from the orphanage again that day. We hope to see them in Guangzhou too. The official didn’t really interview us as much as we expected, and overall the meet was very easy. We got our forms from them and left.

Afterwards we went to the notary office to sign some paperwork. The notary was very kind, and we got to take a photo of our family with her. She is like a Supreme Court Justice in the US. Our guide will pick up our remaining paperwork on Thursday and bring it to us.

When we were done with the meetings, we asked our guide to go with us to a grocery store to get some things we needed. She helped us get bottled water, pop, and food for Brendan to eat for lunches in the hotel room. We were SO thankful and felt a lot better about getting through the rest of the week. The grocery store was right near McDonald’s, so we stopped in and picked up some lunch for us to go. It was nice to have something similar to home, even though it was not exactly the same. (The western food in the hotel is not made the way we would make those same dishes in the states as well.)

We got back to the hotel and just had a much better outlook about our week. We got along much more with Teresa, we had food and water, and we knew we only had a few days left there.

After Brendan’s nap he seemed a little off. We did play in the room and also took a little walk outside and played in the hotel lobby. After dinner, we realized he was running a low fever, and he had been having diarrhea. We have him some Tylenol and a bath, and his fever broke not long after he went to sleep. We decided to call our guide in the morning and get him to a doctor. If he has a fever for our embassy medical exam on Saturday, they will not allow him to travel until he is better, which would mean a delay in our embassy appointment as well. We are praying he gets better soon.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Gotcha Day!

This was a chaotic day, nothing like my expectations, which I tried not to have in the first place.

We had to be down in the hotel lobby in Beijing at 5 am to go to the airport. We were given a bagged breakfast since we had to leave before breakfast opened. I ate a little. Some of it I couldn’t eat (fruit with skin I couldn’t peel) and some I didn’t like (hard boiled egg). I just ate a couple of small muffins; my stomach was in knots about the day ahead.

Our check–in at the airport went smoothly. We knew our bags were overweight for a China domestic flight (44 lbs per person), but we didn’t think it was by much. Sherry, our guide, talked the staff into letting us go through with no charge. We also got through security without hassle. We got to our gate about 45 minutes early. We even saw travel friends get through with a miracle…they had 4 people traveling with about 10 bags and had thought the rule was 44 lbs per bag. Ugh. The Lord parted the waters and caused the belt at check in to be broken, lots of chaos, and ultimately they got through what they thought would be $300 of fines with no fines at all!

Our flight was easy…we think we might have been seated in business class. Lots of leg room. About an hour flight. When we got off the plane, we got our bags and met our guide. She asked if we needed to use the bathroom before we left. I said no. BIG MISTAKE. (I had to but wanted to get to the hotel first.)

When we got in the van, we discovered from Teresa, our local guide, that we were not going to the hotel but straight to meet our son. (Exactly what happened to us in Ethiopia; this only happens about 1% of the time. It happened to us both adoptions.) Our guide in Beijing, Sherry, told us we were most likely going to the hotel to unpack first. So we had no toys for him in our carry on. No snacks. No gifts ready for the orphanage staff. And she said we’d only be there about an hour.

We also discovered pretty quickly in the van that Teresa did not speak English as well as we were used to with Sherry. We had to explain our questions a number of times. This proved to get worse with time.

We got to the Civil Affairs building, and we were ushered into this lobby area. (I tried to go to the bathroom, but the Western toilet was disgustingly dirty—imagine the worst you’ve seen and triple it—and the squatty potties had to toilet paper. We had been carrying around tp but did not bring it with us in our carry ons.) There were only a couple of people there at the moment, but we were told 17 families were coming that morning to get their kids. Little did we know…

Brendan was not there yet, so our guide went into a room to start figuring out paperwork. A few minutes later, some nannies walked in with Brendan and another little boy, both who looked TERRIFIED. We approached him and started to talk, and the nannies were trying to introduce us, but he would have none of it. He just closed off emotionally. We could not get anyone to take many photos or videos. And then Brendan wet his pants all over the floor. Poor kid. While the staff cleaned him up and got him new pants (no underwear, as we discovered later), other staff pulled me aside and sat me down to do some paperwork. By this time we could see other families getting their kids, lots of crying (parents and kids), and other people taking nice video and photos for those families. It was very loud in the room, and Teresa was trying to translate the form for me to fill out and having difficulty. She would ask questions and get yelled at. We would sign forms, and she would get yelled at about how we did it wrong. (I should say the yelling was directed at her, but we have no idea what they were saying.) Screaming babies. Lots of people speaking different languages. And I felt robbed of my gotcha day because I couldn’t even find Pete and Brendan at points. Every time I would get up to try to sit with them and see our son, I was pulled into more paperwork. And then I was told we needed to make our orphanage donation then. So I had to sit and count large stacks of RMB in the middle of the crowd. And then they recounted it. About $5000 worth.

By this point we were a bit upset. We had tried numerous times to ask questions of the nannies that we had about Brendan. We kept getting brushed aside. Thankfully, Pete had gone out to the van earlier and dug a couple of toys out of the suitcase. He literally just came to us with the clothes on his back. Not even anything from the care package we sent him.

The other little boy that Brendan came with turned out to be going home with a family from Kansas. We got to sit down with his mom and exchange information, since we were told Hudson (the boy’s new name) and Brendan were friends. (Sure enough, later as I looked through Brendan’s photos I saw Hudson in many of them.) His mom was really nice. This was not her first China adoption, and she had used our agency in the past. I’m looking forward to staying in touch with her. I hope we see her at the embassy meetings.

At some point in all of this we were able to take photos with the nannies and Brendan and us outside the building. Pete tried to explain that we wanted to have on video the nannies giving Brendan some well-wishes and then have Teresa translate. Never happened. They just didn’t understand us. We did get to ask our questions and felt we got satisfactory answers.

Teresa told us it was time to go, so we all piled in the van. Then we all had to get out, because she said we had to take the family photo for the documentation. (I actually had mentioned this to her earlier because we knew this was taken on that day, and she told me we didn’t do that until the next day.)

By the time we were really ready to go, it was lunchtime. We had been at the CA building for 2 hours. The driver and guide offered to take us to a local restaurant instead of the hotel, so we agreed. Once we were seated, we asked the guide for help with ordering, since in Beijing all the ordering was done for us ahead of time. It took about 30 minutes to discuss back and forth with the guide what we would be willing to order. I asked for a bottle of water, and it took forever to explain what that was. They brought me mineral water, which I did not want. We finally got them to bring a bottle of Sprite. By this point I was in tears. The staff ended up bringing me a bowl of special soup used for people with coughs, because they thought I was sick. It tasted like medicine. Nasty. It turns out we ordered too much, and most of it I didn’t like. Too spicy. Pete ate some, but when Teresa started laughing at him at how he was using chopsticks, he got mad at her. At least Brendan ate a meal he was used to. One thing Sherry told us in Beijing was not to let him eat too much at meals so he wouldn’t get a stomachache. Teresa and the wait staff kept bringing him more and more food. We finally put a stop to it, and they didn’t really understand why we were denying him more food. I ended up just eating rice. We paid the bill (and I noticed we ended up paying for the driver’s and Teresa’s meals too).

At this point we knew we needed to call in the big guns. We knew we couldn’t survive for the rest of the week like this with no one who could understand us. We decided to call the national guide when we got back to the hotel. Teresa gave us our room keys, and we asked for help with locating a supermarket for us to buy water. She vaguely gave us directions and would not offer more help than that. “It’s just down the block,” she said.

We got up to our hotel room and we noticed there was only one large bed. We asked about a bed for Brendan, and they finally brought us up a large crib. We called Linekar, the national guide, immediately. He got us switched to a different room with two beds. Pete told him about the difficult time we were having with our guide, and he said our province is a very hard one because not many people speak English well. He said there was a 5 star hotel in town, but it was twice as much money. (We are in a 4 star hotel.) The nicer hotel had more staff who spoke better English. We decided to stay put, since Brendan was already moved around so much today, and we didn’t know if we could afford the new hotel. He offered to get us a new guide, but it would take a couple of days. He told us to call him with any more issues we were having. It was so nice to finally have someone understand our needs.

In the midst of all of this, we laid Brendan down for a nap, which we found out he takes every afternoon. He was still so, so scared. He laid down and tears began to roll down him face. He made no noises, just cried silently. We sat with him and snuggled and prayed with him for a while. Finally, he fell asleep and took a decent nap. We tried to sleep, but we could not. We were actually a bit worried about Brendan…we wondered if there was some hearing loss or mental delays due to how painfully shy he is. (We knew from the referral paperwork that he was shy, but this was Just. Painfully. Shy.) And it didn’t help that he wouldn’t make eye contact or speak.

I went out in search of the grocery store. I got some directions from the bellboy, but I walked around for a while without finding what I was looking for. I came back to the hotel and asked for more help. The bellboy walked me partway there, and then pointed out exactly where I needed to go. What made it harder was there was construction in between me and the store, and I had to walk around it (on the street, mostly, with China traffic). I finally found the store and went in. I found the water, but it was all expensive mineral water, not the cheap spring water we had been drinking the last few days. I walked back to the hotel, and we called Linekar again. He called Teresa and had her call the hotel to bring us up a bunch of water to our room. They brought us two more individual sized bottles.

By this time Brendan was awake, so we took him down to dinner at the hotel restaurant. We looked at the regular menu, and then they brought us the room service menu. We ordered club sandwiches for us, and they came with French fries. After we ordered, I realized we couldn’t eat the lettuce or tomatoes in the sandwich. We nibbled at the bread, but the meat tasted funny, and there was a layer of egg instead of cheese. The fries were pretty good, though.

After we were all done eating we went back to the room and gave Brendan a bath. He smelled pretty horrible all day, but we wanted to give him some time in his orphanage clothes since the smell was more familiar to him. The bath went well. Then Pete started playing with him, and he really seemed to open up. They were laughing a lot, playing with toys, and being silly together.

By bedtime we were feeling a bit better about the day.

Beijing day 2

On Sunday morning in Beijing we were able to go to an international church for worship in the morning. It was amazing—definitely a highlight of the trip. We had to show our foreign IDs to get in the door. The best part was singing the doxology with Christians in China, knowing we would sing it again with our church back home at the airport.

Next we visited a jade factory, learned about jade, and did some shopping.

After lunch, we went to the Great Wall. Amazing. No words. I didn’t climb much because it was so steep and pretty warm outside, but Pete went up a few towers. Pete put photos on facebook.

We drove back to Beijing and had dinner, and then we went to a Chinese acrobat show. We were all very tired and ready to go back to our rooms and pack, but it was still worth seeing. They would give our local Gamma Phi Circus a run for their money.

Back at the hotel, we repacked and got ready for the morning, when we would go to meet our son!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

day 1 sightseeing in Beijing

Yesterday was a FULL day of sightseeing and a lot of fun.

We met our travel group families at breakfast and in the lobby. (ET families, we've decided we are traveling with some twin families…like the Mitchells, the Schmidts, and the Moles families.)
J

We got on the bus (our tour bus) and first went to Tiananman Square. LOL—we were not allowed to discuss politics or take pictures of anyone in uniform. There were lots of people everywhere we went. I think there were a couple hundred thousand people in the square. We took some photos and then walked over to the Forbidden City. We walked all the way through, from front to back, through each gate. This was were the emperor’s family lived. No one goes in, no one comes out. (hehe--I was singing the Oompa Loompa song in the shower this morning.) The buildings were magnificent, and we got to see one of the golden thrones. My absolute favorite part was the Imperial Garden. I loved the smaller buildings surrounding it and all the interesting plants and rock structures. By the time we got back to the bus, we had been walking for 2.5 hours!

Then we went to lunch, our first taste of authentic Chinese cuisine. So good! This was probably my favorite meal so far. We ate at a table for 10 with the food on a large spinner in the middle. You just spin the glass when you want a dish moved closer to you. My favorite parts were the leeks and the cucumbers.

We got to visit a pearl factory store and learn about how pearls are found and the difference between ocean and freshwater pearls. Pink freshwater pearls come from China—no where else. We saw some very beautiful jewelry and bought a little.

Next we went to Summer Palace, but it had rained while we were in the pearl shop and so the photos were all hazy. There is a beautiful bridge and a man-made lake that we saw. Across the lake was the palace itself, where the emperor rested.

Then we went to a Silk Factory and saw how silk blankets were made. We even got to try to stretch the silk out for a blanket. We oogled over all the pretty fabrics and the adorable baby clothes.

We drove by the Olympic Village and took some photos of the Bird’s Nest and surrounding buildings. It brought back a lot of memories of the Seoul Olympics for me. The buildings are not really being used now but are owned by the government.

We went to a Tea House and participated in a tea ceremony. We got to try 5 kinds of tea. My favorites were the jasmine and fruit teas. The ceremony was very entertaining…we laughed a lot! Then we got to purchase some gifts.

Finally, we went to a Chinese duck dinner. I didn’t like the food as well, and by this point I was ready to collapse. It was all I could do to stay upright in the chair from jet lag. I liked the taste of duck…it reminded me a lot of turkey. I liked the little pieces I took off the plate myself, but I didn’t like it when they offered it wrapped in an injera/crepe-like thing with vegetables. I wasn’t feeling the best anyway by this point, so I was grateful when we left.

When we got back to the hotel, I put on pjs and was asleep about 5 seconds after hitting the pillow. J

Aidan and Iona, we love you and miss you a ton. We can’t wait to skype with you in the next couple of days so you can meet Brendan. We meet him tomorrow! Please give each other lots of hugs for us and have fun with your friends. We love you!!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

at the airport

In about 23 hours, we will be in China. My stomach is in the usual knots from flying, even though I've done this so many times. I miss my kids, all three of them. Lots of mixed emotions. I'm excited to get going!

Thank you all for your prayers and notes of encouragement. Please keep praying for us, all the way there and back! We are excited to see what God wants to show us in China.

Here is the standard suitcase shot. Praying we see them all in China when we get off the plane!

Monday, August 1, 2011

leaving this week!

We are leaving for China this week! We'll take the kids to our friends' house on Wednesday afternoon and go to the airport Thursday morning. The kids are having a ton of fun with packing.

We're down to the last few things that can't be packed until the last minute. I'll finish laundry tomorrowish and try to clean a little.

In one week we will meet our new son. In Iona's words: "Brendan's coming. I'm freaking out about it!"

His bed is made. We bought him a pillow tonight. His bag is packed, filled with new clothes and new toys for the trip.

We're coming!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

hair day!

On Friday I took Iona to an AA salon for the first time to get her hair done. The appointment was during her naptime, so I was nervous about how it would go.

She did so well! She was almost falling asleep at times. The stylist showed me how to detangle her hair without her screaming. I was shocked that Iona only said once that it hurt.


I was so impressed! And I loved the atmosphere in the salon. The ladies were even sharing scripture with each other! I wish I got a picture of her hair all detangled and out, because it was amazing, but I'm sure I will see it again like that sometime. The stylist detangled and braided all in an hour and a half!

Iona fell asleep on the way home, and then as soon as we walked inside she woke up. I set her up with a video and got these photos. She was so tired.

A funny: She went to the bathroom while we were there, and while we were in the bathroom, Iona points to the garbage at the hair extensions and says, "Mom, someone left their hair in there."

timeline and travel

For those who care, this is our list of dates when we reached each step of the process of Brendan's adoption:

Dossier to China: 3/11/2011
Log-in date: 3/18/2011
Date of referral: 12/10/2010
Letter of Intent: 12/16/2010
Pre-approval: 12/27/2010
Referral acceptance: 5/7/2011
Travel approval: 7/12/2011
Travel dates: 8/4/2011 through 8/19/2011

We leave in 2.5 weeks! Crazy! We have a couple house projects we are trying to finish up, and otherwise we are checking travel things off the list. My computer was very sick this weekend and we had to buy a new one...while I'm happy with the new one, I wish it could have happened in a month or two!

I will try to post a little more in the coming days and weeks, and I'll try to post daily while we are in China.

Please pray:
--for protection around our family before, during, and after our trip.
--for our kiddos here at home.
--for peace for us that our kiddos are here at home.
--good travel...we had such a horrid experience getting to Ethiopia that I am dreading this trip.
--good relationships built with the two families we are traveling with. We don't know anything about them yet.
--for our first meeting with Brendan to be peaceful, and us to minister to him well if it is not.
--for Brendan to be mentally and emotionally prepared for all the changes about to take place in his life.
--for God to heal his eyes, whether supernaturally or through the doctors here in the states.
--for us to be able to communicate with Brendan and vice versa.
--for our trip home with Brendan (and no translators!) to be smooth and fun.
--for Aidan and Iona to bond well with Brendan.
--for our first days, weeks, and months home to go well.
--for me to finish preparing for our homeschooling year and to know when we are ready to begin.
--anything else the Lord brings to your mind!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Nesting and adoption update

I've been too busy to blog lately...so sorry I haven't kept everyone up to date on the adoption. This week we are expecting a phone call from our agency saying we got our Article 5, which is the last approval we need before travel approval. We should get our travel approval about 2-4 weeks later, and then we travel 2-4 weeks after that.

Meanwhile, we are in the middle of a health insurance company change, including most of our doctors. We also had to complete Iona's annual report for Ethiopia. And we've been nesting...we went to IKEA to get more shelving and have been moving just about every bookshelf around our house. We got bunk beds for the boys, ordered Brendan's dresser and car booster seat, got travel books, got a new camera, etc. We took a short trip to St. Louis. We went to our first homeschool convention and bought the rest of our curriculum for next year.

Today we took a break and went to Wildlife Prairie State Park for their Olde English Faire and got to see knights, pirates, ninjas, jousting, and all manner of middle ages stuff. Aidan even got to throw some real throwing stars. We hung out with good friends from college and their kids for the day, and they offered to take our kids the whole time we are in China!! HUGE answer to prayer on so many levels.

And somewhere in all this prep before we leave I'm trying to do some homeschool planning for the new school year...

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

RA and Show Hope

Mother's Day ended with both children puking, and I woke up Monday morning and joined them. We all laid around in front of the tv on Monday, because that was about all we could do.

Monday afternoon we got a letter in the mail from Show Hope saying we got a $2500 grant!! Then, less than an hour after another session of puke, we got a call from our agency saying our RA arrived! This means that China has approved us to adopt Brendan. And this means you can now see him!



We also found out that we will most likely travel in August. And if we receive our travel approval in July, like expected, we won't have to pay the additional $2750 we thought we would have to due to changes in post placement requirements. So as soon as Pete got home from work, he had to head over to the Fed Ex office to send in a form to USCIS.

We got the Welcome to Travel email Monday as well, and I was once again overwhelmed by all the next things that need to get done. I can't believe we're not done with paperwork! And then it hit me...we are traveling to China in 3 months! So much to do!

We are praising the Father for all His good gifts to us, even in the midst of sickness.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

waiting

I feel like I'm in phone-stalking mode again. We are waiting for "THE CALL" from our agency telling us they have received our RA (referral acceptance). Technically, we will probably not hear back until around 5/18, but now that it's May I'm getting antsy. We have our I800 and DS230 documents complete and waiting, so we should be ready to submit as soon as it comes.

Meanwhile, we're trying to finish the school year, going on field trips, and prepping the house.

You know you are adopting when things break and craziness happens. All in the same week. I'll just leave it at that.

We're beginning to think about Brendan's care package and working on the video we'll release of him when the RA arrives. We've been applying for more adoption grants.

Next week is Iona's 3rd birthday, so maybe I'll post photos. :) She will tell everyone who will listen that she is SO excited to be 3 because she gets to go to AWANA and ballet.

The week after is our adoption fundraiser garage sale. Our garage is half-full, and we're getting leftovers from other sales soon. Let me know if you have anything to donate to our sale!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Shoe Saturday


Edmund Gives Back from Lifesong for Orphans on Vimeo.

Edmund is just one example of many who have been helped by Lifesong Honduras, and are now giving back.  I love how he obviously cares for these kids and even gives what little he has away so they can have shoes!  What a great example.

Here’s a question for you… How many pairs of shoes do you have?.

10? 20? 30? (eek!)

The kids at Lifesong Honduras have one pair each… sometimes two (a pair of boots to serve in).  Wow.

This Saturday join us for Shoe Saturday.  Simply count your shoes… and get your kids in on it too.  Have them count theirs.  And then tell them about the children in Honduras.  Tell them about Edmund who sacrifices his own money so children in the village can have something on their feet.  Then as a family pray.  Thank God for His faithfulness and His blessings on your family.  Thank Him for raising up men and women and children in Honduras to care for the poor, the orphaned, the vulnerable.  Ask Him to continue to provide and watch over them.  Ask Him raise up supporters so Lifesong can continue to serve in Honduras.

We are reaching for a goal:




Please pray that we can reach this goal?   Maybe God wants to use you?  Will you prayerfully consider joining us?

Maybe you can't give $30 a month... Maybe you can give more.  Today we want to encourage you to give your best!

One commitment we've received was a one time gift... Another commitment was matched by the donor's employer... meaning his gift has now quadrupled!  We are so excited to see people rise up and give what they can!

Thank you to those who have committed so far.

We have 15.5 commitments.

Can we make 100?

We have 7 days... 84.5 commitments to go.

With your help we can do it!

Meet Edgar


Edgar is 15 years old and in the 10th grade at Lifesong Honduras.

On June 5th, 2009 his father was shot and killed because he didn't want to sell his property, leaving his mother alone to raise Edgar and his brothers.





Recently Edgar's family decided to move to another state and wanted him to join them.  However, even though it was hard to watch them leave, he was determined to continue his education at Escalon.  After being there for 3 years, Edgar understands his need for education as a step towards a better life.

When asked about these major trials he has had to face in his young life, he simply says,

"It's just like "Pastor Guy" (Lifesong Honduras director) always says, "we should never give up."  

After graduating Edgar wants to study in the medical field.  He desires to use these skills to help people in need and give back as he has been given.

With your support we can continue to serve more kids like Edgar.

Our goal is:



We have 16.5 commitments.

We need 83.5 more.

Please prayerfully consider joining us as we strive to bring joy and purpose to orphans in Honduras! YOUR DONATION WILL BE DOUBLED by a gracious giver!

Contact us at at info@lifesongfororphans.org to make your commitment AND be sure to tell them tha we sent you from our blog!

Hear personal stories and check back for progress through the end of the month!
*All administrative costs are covered, so 100% of your donation will go directly toward helping orphans!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

the realization

I remember the moment like it was yesterday. When Aidan realized he was going to share us with a sibling. He was four.

We had driven to the library and parked across the street in our little two-door coupe. Aidan was chatting with us about his sister coming home. He got all sad and weepy and said, "But you're MY mommy and daddy!" At this point we were all crying. We got into the back seat with him (no small feat) and held him and told him how much we loved him, but that we loved his sister too.

That moment happened tonight with Iona.

She was sitting up in bed, well after lights out. I walk upstairs to find out why she is calling me. She looks really sad.

Iona: Mommy, why is Brendan living in our house?

Me: What do you mean, Iona? He's not here yet, but he's coming soon to live with us.

Iona: But you're not HIS mommy. You're MY mommy!

Me (hugging her): I am Aidan's mommy and Iona's mommy AND Brendan's mommy.

We went round and round about this for a little while and then she got all goofy and got herself into trouble.

I'm so blessed by my kiddos, and I'm so honored that Iona sees me as her mommy, no questions asked. I know the questions will come one day, but I'm thrilled at her attachment to me and her starting to think through having a new member of the family.

Meanwhile, Pete and I are reading through Ann Voscamp's One Thousand Gifts, and we've both just started our "gift lists." I'm excited to see what God will do in our hearts and in our family as a result.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Spring break!

We are on spring break this week and enjoying the rest. This week we have a bunch of doctor appts, but I hope to spend some time at local parks, spring cleaning, going through the kids' clothes, and just generally goofing off and having fun with the kids.

The kids and I have started seeing a chiropractor. My neck has been in a lot of pain for a few weeks, and I've aggrevated an old injury that never fully healed. We've been sick so much this winter that I thought it would be good for all of us to go, and we have some pre-tax medical money we need to use up before we lose at the end of the fiscal year. The kids like going to the "popcorn doctor" and are responding very well to treatment. The doc also thinks he can work with us on Aidan's sensory processing disorder, so we shall see. And my headaches are gone. I still have a lot of pain, but I'm slowly getting more range of motion. We've only had 3 visits.

I'm starting to think through next year's school plans. We will continue with some curriculum and change a few things. The biggest change is that we will add Brendan and Iona into our school time. And I'm considering switching to a year-round model. But, for now, I'm making my supply lists and saving up money for new curriculum.

Definitely will use: Story of the World Vol 2 (history), Math U See Beta (math), Apologia Zoology 1 (science), First Language Lessons 2 (grammar), Handwriting without Tears gr 3-4 workbooks (handwriting), Writing With Ease 2 (writing), Harmony Art Mom grade 2 (music and art), and a literature list of books from Sonlight/Ambleside Online/other sources, Confession of a Homeschooler's Letter of the Week curriculum (for Brendan and Iona).

Considering: Spelling Workout C/Spelling Power/Sequential Spelling, Veritas Press Gen-Joshua (Bible), character and hymn study resources on Simply Charlotte Mason's site.

Pete and I are planning to go to our first homeschool convention in June, so we're hoping for some ideas and clarity and a little getaway!

DTC and LID

Our dossier went to China last week and we have a log-in date of 3/18/2011. We now wait 2-4 months to receive our RA, or official referral acceptance. (Since we received the referral before China approved our paperwork, they want to make sure we are good candidates for adoption before releasing our son to us.)

Once we get our RA, we'll get travel approval about 10-14 weeks later. And then we'll travel 2-4 weeks after that.

Meanwhile, we have more paperwork to complete! Our I800 and DS230 MUST be complete and ready to go when we receive our RA, so we are beginning work on those forms and supplementary materials now.

Our fundraising is going very well, but we still need more! We've raised almost $7000 of our $17000 goal for the last part of our adoption expenses. This includes our last agency payment, airfare for 3, in-country expenses, and fees we will need to pay in China when we travel (for the orphanage, etc.). We are excited at what God has done already in a few weeks! We have a few ways to give: t-shirts (reduced to $20), half-marathon, and Lifesong.

You may notice that I just became a blogger for Lifesong for Orphans. They have helped us so much with our adoptions, and we are thrilled with this opportunity to help them get the word out about ways you can get involved in orphan care.
Tortilla Tuesday!!





Next Monday we will be kicking off an exciting 10 day blog-a-thon to spread the word about what's going on at Lifesong Honduras.  We will be sharing personal testimonies from changed lives, peeking into everyday Honduran life, and giving some tools to spread awareness in your families.
One of these tools is a little something we like to call (da-daDAAA!):




Tuesday, March 29th we will be dedicating 1 meal to eat what the children in Honduras eat on a daily basis... and we want you to be a part of it!  We will also provide some great topical questions and discussion guides for you to share with your kids on what life is like for children in another culture.


Would YOU join us?

We'll share more as we get closer to the 29th, so mark your calendars, get your camera ready and head to the store to get tortillas, rice, and beans for the whole family!

Honduras Blitz from Lifesong for Orphans on Vimeo.

What if every time you gave a dollar to orphans it became one more?

One more dollar towards food, education, shelter?

One more dollar towards sharing the Gospel and providing Biblical mentorship?

One more dollar towards changing the life of a child?

I love to use this platform to advocate for those in need... and thanks to a generous donor every dollar given to Lifesong Honduras will be matched… up to $120,000! We praise the Lord for this amazing gift and invite you to be a part of it.

Over the next 10 days we are teaming with Lifesong and are hoping for 100 1-year commitments of $30 a month. Just think, for about $1 a day a life in Honduras can be forever changed.



Partnering with Tree of Life Missions in Honduras, Lifesong for Orphans is able to work toward providing hope to the hopeless, help to the helpless and healing to the hurting. TOLM reaches kids through a program called Plan Escalon. (Escalon is translated "escalator" and is used to describe the children's escalator out of poverty/brokenness.)
Through this program we strive toward:

  • Providing an education to the poorest of youth

  • Providing food to the poorest of youth

  • Providing vocational training & micro-business opportunities

  • Providing free medical and dental clinics to those in need

  • Training young people to give back to their communities

  • Reaching people in the jungles of the Mosquito Coast


Stay tuned for stories, personal testimonies, and fun ways to spread awareness and instill a heart of giving in your kids!

Our goal is:


Will you help us? 100 commitments in ten days is no small feat, but with God it is possible. We have seen Him move mightily in His people to serve orphans and we pray that this ten weeks will be a testimony of that! Together we can make a difference in the lives of these kids! Together we can do more to bring joy and purpose to orphans!

Contact Lifesong at info@lifesongfororphans.org to make your commitment AND be sure to tell them that we sent you from our blog!

Hear personal stories & follow the progress on our blog all this week!

Check back often to hear personal stories and get updates on the progress. Please join us in prayer as we ask the Lord to raise up 100 commitments!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

sickness

Aidan, Iona, and I have been swapping sicknesses since Christmas break. It's all, thankfully, been respiratory, but it still stinks. We've had to skip activities, homeschool co-ops, and lots of church as we take turns getting better. Both kids are mostly better now, and my cold is getting worse. The weather is supposed to perk up this week, so I hope we can get outside for some Vitamin D. For the last couple of big snowstorms, the kids were too sick to play out in the snow. Boo.

School has been rough going with all the sickness around. We've been able to basically keep up, but we've definitely had some lighter workload days. I'm just glad we can keep moving forward even when sick. A few of our subjects are due to finish within the month, so pushing those back a week or two is not a big deal.

Grants and loans

Last week we found out we received a $2500 no-interest loan for our adoption and a $3000 matching grant. We are so thankful to God! Here is the letter we are in the middle of sending out:


Dear Family and Friends,

“A father to the fatherless…God places the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:5, 6)

Many of you know we have felt called and directed by God to adopt another “fatherless” child into our family. We adopted Iona from Ethiopia in 2008 and brought her home when she was 6 months old and only 11 lbs. She is now a fierce 2.5-year-old bundle of energy and full of joy. Aidan and Iona adore each other, most of the time.

We have stepped back into the adoption journey and are pursuing Brendan, a 4.5-year-old boy from China. We have decided to adopt through the “waiting child” program in China, and we only waited 1 hour to be matched to our son. He, however, had been waiting one and a half years for a family of his own. Brendan has a special need called bilateral strabismus, which means he will most likely need glasses.

Why China? That’s a long story, and one we would be happy to talk more about in person! Basically, the Lord led us to pursue an older child for this adoption, and the Lord had long ago laid an Asian child on our hearts for our family. He orchestrated an amazing set of events in the past year to direct us to China, and we are excited to meet our son soon!

At this point, our dossier (portfolio of documents) is almost complete and should travel to China within the next month. We can’t share Brendan’s photo here until our dossier has been received in China and officially approved, but we carry the photos around and love to show him off! We are hoping to travel to China sometime in the fall of 2011 to bring Brendan home.

There are so many things God has used to prick our hearts and move us to adopt; here are a few:

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress (James 1:27)

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15)

The biggest challenge for us is not opening our hearts and home to another child, but it is in finding the finances to make this happen. We estimate our total cost for adoption fees, document preparation, home study, airfare, travel, attorney fees, etc. to be $27,000. That’s certainly money we don’t have, but we know God is faithful and is leading us to trust Him. By God’s grace we’ve been able to pay the initial $10,000. We honestly had no idea how that would all work when we began, but little by little, as we have needed each part of the funds, it has been available.

There are two ways you can help:

1. Prayer—Please pray God would tenderly care for our son in China until we are able to bring him home, that God would prepare Aidan and Iona for the upcoming changes to our family, and that God will give us wisdom, discernment, and insight as we raise our children to know Jesus Christ. Please also pray for our first months home as we learn to communicate with Brendan and meet his needs.

2. Financial support—Will you please consider making a tax-deductible donation to help us pay the remaining $17,000 in adoption expenses to bring our son home?

Lifesong for Orphans (www.lifesongfororphans.org) has graciously given a matching grant of $3,000 to help pay the “ransom” to bring Brendan home.

If you would like to be a part of this adoption, you can send your tax-deductible gift between now and April 10, 2011 to the address below. Lifesong for Orphans is a trusted organization administering the funds on our son’s behalf and will pay adoption expenses out of funds received.

1. Please make checks payable to Lifesong for Orphans and put “Juvinall Adoption” in the memo section of your check.
(*Note: In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong, which retains full discretion over its use but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.)


2. Mail checks to:
Lifesong for Orphans
Attn: Juvinall #1766 Adoption
PO Box 40 / 202 N. Ford St
Gridley, IL 61744

3. You may also give online via Paypal at http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/donation.html and clicking on “Make a Donation.” Please put “Juvinall #1766 Adoption” in the item line.

Thank you for investing in the Kingdom through prayer and finances—it will be an investment with an eternal return (Matt 6:20)! We’ll send you our new family photo when we return home. Please pray this entire process will glorify God and fulfill His purposes!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Make Pete's Playlist! adoption fundraiser

Hi friends! I have so many posts in my head and I'm not sure when I'll get them all up here, but for now, we are putting together another adoption fundraiser.

On April 30, Pete will be running the Illinois Half Marathon. This is his third half marathon and he's hoping to break the 2 hour mark this time!

You can help make his music playlist for the race! For $10 each, you can choose a song for him to run to that day. If you would like to pick the last song, the one he crosses the finish line with, it will cost you $100. If he runs out of room in the playlist, your song choice will be included in his final 10-mile training run before the race.

You are free to hand us the money or pay via Paypal. With Paypal, please include your song choice in the Notes field. Thank you!!





Song options




We still have our adoption t-shirts for sale and we are keeping the price at $20 to try to get them out the door. See this post for more info.