what is God up to?

So, the night I started this blog, I was up until 4 am. Couldn't sleep. That doesn't usually happen to me. Granted, my mind can run and I can take forever to fall asleep (whereas all Pete has to do is roll over), but I never am up that late. Unless I have a crying or sick child. Or when I was in college.

Last night, even with the little sleep from the night before, I was up with Pete until at least 12:30. Granted, I got a 2-hour nap that afternoon, but still. I should have been exhausted. But we were listening to the expositor series from when God first pricked our hearts about adoption, way back in 2000. You can listen to the same one here. Pastor Ken Fong was speaking about God's adoption of us into His family. We both wept as he brought out his daughter and shared with her how she was pre-loved by them.

Little did we know, almost 10 years ago, that our adoption story would be similar to the Fongs. Infertility, for many years. A long wait. We laughed as we heard him reference Tim Keller. We had no idea who he was back then. Our church uses his material all the time!

We DO know that God is pricking our hearts again for another adoption. We don't know when. We don't know where. But we know that just as He pre-loved us, we are pre-loving another child. It's a holy mystery. We prayed together for clarity last night. And we're praying we can enjoy this moment of waiting to see what the next step is.

Because He first loved us.