the voiceless

So last week I found out I have the flu. We think H1N1, but I was never tested. I've been sick for almost a week now, with no sign of being near done yet. Fever has been gone since Wednesday, thankfully, but yesterday I woke up with no voice.

I never realized how much I like to talk!

So Pete challenged me today with the question: so what is God teaching you through this?

I feel like I have so much swimming in my mind since that question. This is my attempt to record and make sense:

• the orphan--so many have no voice!! 143 million!!

• Orphan Sunday is next weekend. I've been praying for orphans, for people to adopt, for parents who are sick or make difficult decisions, for finances to come through for friends who are adopting.
• Some friends are going on a trip with Children's Hopechest to Ethiopia. Read more about their trip here. Consider a donation! Did you know that $15 will feed one Ethiopian child for a month?
• What is God calling us to do? We know that adopting Iona has been one of the greatest joys God has given us. She is such a fighter. In Ethiopia, 1 in 5 kiddos die before age 5. In calling us to adopt her, God gave her LIFE!! And God opened our eyes to a bigger picture of His love.
• I've been in a women's bible study at church on the book of Proverbs. God has been challenging me with these passages:

Prov 15:1--A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Prov 15:4--The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

Prov 29:11--Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.

I've really been thinking about and trying to watch the way I speak to my kids. Not yelling. Choosing words that give life and don't crush them. Encouraging them lots. Loosing my voice has made me sit back and think through that more, thinking about what I would say if I could, whispering words to them that make a difference.

• I've also been pondering God's voice in Scripture. God's powerful voice to create. What God's voice sounded like to his people. The people who raised their voices to God. How God speaks into the lives of his people. So much to think about.
• It's been really hard for me to not kiss my kiddos on the lips (for fear of spreading my illness), read them stories, etc.
• I'm slightly stressed that we're behind in homeschooling, but we're really only a few days to a week behind in certain subjects. I can't start up again until I can speak.
• I've been praying my voice is back by Tuesday, when Pete leaves on a business trip for the rest of the week. Please pray!!
• I've wrestled with how many times I've wanted to say random things to Pete and I can't. How much do I speak words that are meaningless? Are my words lifting him up or tearing him down?

Please pray that I can continue to make sense of all this and what God wants to teach me. And please pray I LEARN it this time!!